Day 32 of 40 days of devotion
Written by Abi Cowley
I started 2018 on a roll in terms of spending time with Jesus. I was regularly getting up early, reading my bible, praying, hearing from God…and then I got ill…and then one of my daughters got ill…and then another.
To be honest by the time the 40 days of devotion rolled around I was struggling to wake up and not feeling very motivated at all. It took me over a week to even work out what I could do and then temptation to not even bother, because I’d missed the beginning, was strong. It was easy to feel like I’d ‘failed’ before I’d even started!
But then I realised I had it all wrong. If I was thinking I’d ‘failed’ I was clearly viewing this as some tick box activity where if I did all the things I’d have succeeded, no matter what my heart attitude was like. That was NOT the idea at all!
If I was truly responding to the devotion my Father has towards me, always has had and always will have, then my response is all He’s bothered about! No matter what that looks like. So in my new found freedom I didn’t feel the pressure to be doing the same thing every day but to make sure that every day my heart was intentionally turned towards my Father.
I’ve joined a few ladies on prayer walks and even gone on some by myself, realising that being out in creation makes my heart come alive and helps me to engage and realign my perspective. I have also felt God challenge me about how ready am I to give reason for the hope that I have (1 Peter 3:15), am I utterly devoted to him when those around me are actively against him? But more about that on Sunday…. 😉
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