Day 26 of 40 days of devotion
Written by an anonymous writer
Being devoted takes many forms. The last few weeks my Quiet Time has been one of prolonged lament. I wake up most mornings either wiped out by tiredness or overwhelmed by sadness. I put on a worship song and within seconds I begin to sob, really sob. I can do nothing but lie surrendered, inviting God into these feelings and expressing them to him. And I repeat this day after day, and wonder aloud what good is He working out of this?
That is when anger rises. God could so easily intervene and yet we have been wrestling (Him and I) for 10 years now, wrestling over his ‘No’ to my plea. This has tested my faith, sometimes to the point of letting go and letting Him catch me again.
I think back to the last kiln-experience when for many months the pressure of disappointment, loss and confusion brought buried anger rising to the surface. I think about the spiritual lessons learned; the fresh faith that happened after and I realise I can learn again. The words of a worship song come to mind:
In the crushing, in the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil
I now surrender
You are breaking new ground.
So I yield to you and to your gentle hand
When I trust you I don’t need to understand
Make me a vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all you have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me
Where there is new wine there is new power
There is new freedom
The kingdom is here
I lay down my old flames
To carry your new wine today
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